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My Ballad To Madonna

When I think of you I itch

Because you've been a little bitch

Someday maybe this will stop

Hopefully before I drop

When on Sunset we first met

Your rat bitch personality I didn't get

Together by limosine we did ride

Until you made me want to hide

To this day I'm still alive

But you're the only one of us to thrive

Now I await my end in death

And at my funeral you'd curse me under your breath

Bonnie Parker . . . er . . . I meant Madonna:
The real Madonna
scientific name: [Equus ferus caballus]

We're in yet another Chinese New Year, and it's still your year, my Madonna. This is the year of the wooden horse. Yeah, you were pretty stiff--you could say "wooden"--in a manner of speaking, in my experience, Madonna. Your main horse attribute is the implied second component, namely, "shit," as in "horse shit." Excuse me for saying so, but I must speak the details here, or I have nothing to say about this matter. Don't think of this as a put down, though. It's about the best I have to say about you, at present. So, enjoy!
(Don't take this the wrong way, Madonna. You know I . . . like . . . you.)

One of My Acting Class Field Trips - Beverly Hills in Winter of 2006

I had this short video on my home page many months ago. Back then, I stored it at my website. Now, I just uploaded it to YouTube, with the hope that the whole world would see it. This sidewalk restaurant was on Little Santa Monica Bl., in Beverly Hills. This was in Winter of 2006. I ordered a seaweed salad. I'll never make that mistake again. I hated it.

Visit my global warming page.

Watch Lindsay Lohan call Paris Hilton a cunt:

I love that expression on the guy's face, after hearing Linday say that.

Stop the lie that a brain scan could detect a lie ! ! !

Steve's True Hollywood banner
Hi, Reese Witherspoon. Were you the one who showed up somewheres for the New Year's Eve celebration? She sure looked like you. I paid attention to the face this time. Now I wish I could know for sure. You celeb ladies are such teases, to not admit to me who you are. I told her she looks like you, and she thanked me for saying that. Afterwards she seemed pleased with me, so that makes me suspect she was really you. Well, someday maybe I'll know for sure. Find me anytime you want, Reese. If she was you, you were the only celeb I spotted there this time. It was a boring night, except for you being there.

Hi, Eileen Frere. Every time I see you on the news, I remember those nights someplace over a year ago. I've concluded, since then, that she was you. Thank you for your attentions, Eileen. I've been a real magnet for tv news ladies for years. If people believe me, maybe they envy me. I'm something like the highest-profile guy whose name is not a household word. I'm not sure; maybe one of my names is a household word by now.

Hi, Michelle Ruiz. I'm sorry I didn't include you here earlier, but sometimes I hesitate, not being sure it'd be appreciated. I'm sure you were the one who showed up someplace for a not-so-distant Halloween, one year. You were phenomenal. Thank you so much, Michelle.

Hi, Lindsay Lohan. Will this next line look familiar. I talked with someone who looked so much like you, months earlier in 2006, that I mentioned it to the young lady. What she said didn't seem like an affirmation that she was you, Lindsay. I'm not completely convinced she wasn't you though, Lindsay. Well, that event qualifies you to a place in this hi-to list of mine. So hi again, Lindsay. Maybe I'll see you around sometime.

Hi, Jessica Simpson. I'm still not sure you weren't the one I was finding someplace months ago, so that's why I didn't add you to this list right away, Jessica. I'd hate to have you feel slighted by your not getting into this list, Jessica. If she was you I was talking to, how could I thank you enough for finding me, Jessica. I don't think it's usually a mere coincidence when these Hollywood ladies find me out on the town, Jessica. I hope I don't seem vain to say that, but I believe it, Jessica. All these furtive, or not-so-furtive, encounters have meant so much to me, Jessica. Thanks a zillion jillion to you and all the other wonderful Hollywood ladies I've met around, Jessica. I want you all to know how much you all have enhanced my life over the last so many years, Jessica. I can't imagine where I'd be today if it weren't for all of you fabulous ladies, Jessica. Don't hesitate to pass this thank-you on to the others, Jessica. I think probably all of them have been aware of their being in this list, Jessica. Over the last so many weeks, I'd think of you again, and I'd feel bad that maybe you'd be feeling ignored or unappreciated by me, Jessica. I really appreciate you and the others, more than I can express, Jessica. I really do, Jessica. I couldn't possibly feel right not saying so, Jessica. The thought was just making me cry, Jessica. Whatever else you ladies find in your life experiences, don't let yourselves feel unappreciated by me. You've meant tremendously much to me, ladies.

Hi, Meredith Vieira. I think I've finally figured out that she was you someplace, something like four years ago, Meredith. I really enjoyed seeing you there, Meredith. I was sitting there in front of you, and I was thinking, "I know I've seen this lady on tv, but I can't remember who she is." It took me years, but finally I believe I've figured it out, Meredith. I wasn't a big watcher of The View, or I would have recognized you, Meredith. I'd never decline, knowing you're you, so to speak, Meredith. You're hot, Meredith. One of the things I wished The View would change was that they left your names by you so briefly, I couldn't quite capture the name, to associate it with the person, Meredith. My eyesight is plenty bad, even without stuff not being on the screne long enough to make out what it is, Meredith. If you're reading this, please tell them that for me, ok? Thanks, Meredith. I don't even remember what show . . .  oh yeah, I think I heard that it's Katie Couric's old spot that you're going to be filling, Meredith. Maybe I shouldn't be so bold, but it would be phenomenal to see you again someplace, Meredith.

Hi, Angelina Jolie. I can hardly believe that I forgot to put you and Brad into this list right away.

Hi, Brad Pitt. I almost hate to mention it, but I suppose that was you I saw in Fullerton in 2005. Maybe the lady with the long, dark hair was Angelina. I couldn't tell with her back to me.

Hi, Erica Hill. I sort of thought you were in this hi-to list, but then I just checked, and saw that you weren't. You're here now, Erica. I was just sitting at my computer, with you on CNN Headline News, and I suddenly had the thought that maybe you were unhappy about not appearing in my hi-to list, Erica. It was an oversight, Erica. You should have been here from the start, Erica. Was she really you someplace, Erica? If so, thanks, Erica.

Hi, Joan Rivers. I always liked you, Joan.

Hi, Howard Stern. Your tv show was good, but it would have been better uncensored. Maybe some were able to tune into it without the censoring? I wish I had that kind of tv service, Howard.

Hi, Fran Drescher. Since my letter to you didn't reach you, I'll include a word or two here, Fran. I once mumbled, to myself, in a restaurant, that I wished Fran Drescher would dump her husband for me. It was like magic. About the next day, I heard a tv report that you just broke off from your husband, Fran. You can reach me by email, through the link below, Fran. Thank you for talking to me today, on October 1, 2006, Fran. It was a phenomenal way to start off the month of October, Fran. Really, your voice is you somehow, Fran. I've always thought that your voice had a kind of charm to it, Fran. You wrote to me many times, but you no longer have time for me, Fran?

Hi, Lauren Ezersky. I've always been fascinted by the sound of your voice, and by your looks, as well, Lauren. Wasn't that you at you-know-where, a number a years ago, Lauren? Please don't hesitate to drop me a line, Lauren.

Hi, Whoopy Goldberg. Do you remember me from Venice beach, many years ago, Whoopy (I hope I spelt your name right)? I had a Volkswagen beatle (Baja style) at the time, and you approached me in the parking lot, at the beach, Whoopy. I hope I didn't seem rude, Whoopy. If you get in contact with me, I'll tell you a thing or two, Whoopy.

Hi, Britney Spears. I hope she was the real you, at you-know-where, Britney. Don't hesitate to cross my path again, Britney.

Hi, Christina Applegate. Remember me from you-know-where, Christina? Thank you for being there for me, Christina. I love you, Christina.

Hi, Peggy Lipton. Did you realize I was myself, so to speak, when you spoke with me, at your recent book signing, at Book Soup, Peggy? May your autobiography sell well, Peggy. I've only read the first two short chapters, but they fascinated me, Peggy.

Hi, Madonna.

Hi, Guy Ritchie.

Hi Courtney Love. Why would I think that the someone someplace many times was you, Courtney? Thanks, Courtney.

Hi Maria Quiban. Right after I first saw you, on the defunct OCN, your name suddenly changed, from Malvar to Quiban, Maria. That reminded me of something, Maria. That has kept me thinking about you, Maria. I figured, at the last minute, that I had to devote a paragraph to you, Maria. I enjoy your weather report, on Los Angeles' channel 13, 11:00 pm news, Maria. I noticed you brought along OCN's Christy Fajardo, with you, Maria. Hi to you, too, Christy.

Hi, Lisa Joyner. I think she was you, who showed up you-would-know-where, several years ago. I enjoyed that, Lisa. And that goes for you too, Lisa Breckenridge, and Jean Martirez. Hi to you, Lisa B.and Jean.

Hi, Sharon Resultan. I enjoyed being with whomever, some years ago, Sharon. I wouldn't mind crossing paths with whomever again, sometime, Sharon. You've held a special place in my mind, Sharon. I love you, Sharon.

Hi, Kelly Cass. Likewise, I enjoyed being with whomever, some years ago, Kelly. I wouldn't mind meeting with whomever again, sometime, Kelly.

Hi, Jeanetta Jones. That goes for you, too, Jeanetta. I enjoyed being with whomever, some years ago, Jeanetta.

Hi, Kristina Abernathy. I've had your autographed, 8 x 10, black-and-white photo hanging on my wall since I don't remember exactly when, Kristina.

OMG, Kristina. You must have been the one I saw someplace a couple of years ago, Kristina. Whew! I hope you realize I'll be pulling my hair out for the rest of my life, thinking of being with you that time, Kristina. I'm dead to the world now because of it, Kristina. I hope you're happy with yourself now, Kristina.

Weather Channel ladies are phenomenal.

Hi, Michaela Pereira. She had to be you, at you-would-know-where, two or three years ago, Michaela. I enjoyed whomever, Michaela.

Hi, Linda Alvarez. She must have been you, at you-would-know-where, many months ago, Linda. That was good, Linda.

Hi, Colleen Williams. I feel sure she was you, at you-would-know-where, months ago, but I didn't recognize you at first, Colleen. I enjoyed myself, Colleen.

Hi, Jillian Barberie. "J. Reynolds," as in "R. J. Reynolds," Jill? You are featured at the Smoking Celebs web site, but I've never subscribed, to discover what they have on you there (or not on you?), Jill.

Hi, Dorothy Lucey. You sure made my day at least once.

Hi, Ellen Leyva. I couldn't very well leave you off of my hi-to list, Ellen. Were you that someone someplace on October 17th of a previous year, Ellen? Whoever she was, she was really hot, Ellen. You've made the last so many years seem all the more interesting, Ellen.

Hi, Paula Abdul. You always capture my attention, whenever I see you on tv, Paula.

Hi, Giuliana DePandi.

Hi, Paris Hilton.

Hi, Nicole Ritchie.

Tv news ladies, generally, are phenomenal, as well.

Hi, Simon Cowell. I didn't recognize you, at you-would-know-where, months ago, in 2004, but it seems he had to be you, there. I think you asked, under your breath, "You wanted to talk with me?" Actually, there was something I was thinking of discussing with you, but I changed my mind about that topic. I'll go out on a limb, and mention the basic idea here: I was thinking of the possibility of a show, devoted to the critiquing of established music personalities. After more thorough comtemplation, I've concluded that would be an all-around bad idea, however. Thanks for dropping by, though, Simon.

Hi, Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton. Please beware of global-warming issues being used as scams.

If I left anyone, out there, off of the above "hi to" list, please don't take it personally. If I included everyone, it would be one long list. This hi-to list, of mine, doubles as a who's-who-of-who-I've-met list.

It wasn't just Madonna's doing. Many years ago, I also wanted the name "Steve Bray" to be shrouded in mystery, because of Madonna's stunts against me. I was afraid she'd make even more legal trouble for me than she did.

I think I should post that old Pegasus picture, with me in it. It's going around on the internet, in case you haven't noticed. It is old; from the 1970's. I'm the pseudo-blonde, on the far left, in this picture:

I tried to contact a former member of Pegasus, a while back, unsuccessfully. I'd be glad to hear from any of you, who I haven't seen, as you know, in many years. It would be nice to hear what you've been doing since the 1970's. You can reach me through the email link, at the bottom of this page.

Here I am:

. . . and last, but not least, a live one of me . . .

Me Me again
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This website was started on July 11, 2005.
This website was last updated on May 7, 2015.
This web page was last updated on May 7, 2015.
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